“To seek approval is to have no resting place, no sanctuary. Like all judgment, approval encourages a constant striving. It makes us uncertain of who we are and of our true value. Approval cannot be trusted. It can be withdrawn at any time no matter what our track record has been. It is as nourishing of real growth as cotton candy. Yet many of us spend our lives pursuing it.” Rachel Naomi Remen
Seeking approval can mean many different things, but in essence, when we seek someone’s approval what we are asking them is to show us that we have value. When our self-esteem is attached to another’s approval, we can become a slave to something that can be given and taken away on a whim. It’s a tricky thing, because even that which has value one day, can be worthless the next.
At some point we all learn that gaining the approval of another is a hollow victory-because feeling valuable is an inside job.