“I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.”
— Dawna Markova
These passionate words remind us that none of us came here to be safe. We came here to walk to the edge, open our hearts, and invest our faith in the things we cannot always see.
Yesterday was yet another of my lesson days from the universe. This lesson centers around my original commitment to writing Rx for the Soul. When I began this venture I agreed to let the universe lead me on a daily basis and to get out of my own way and be a faithful scribe. This means that I do not pre-write Rx’s or save them up and send them out randomly. Every morning I say a prayer and set an intention that this benevolent universe inspire me to find a lesson in the day, so that I may in turn share it with my readers . Then, at the end of each day, I sit down and I write in real time based on what the day has revealed and then I schedule what I have written to go out into the world early the next morning. It is a routine I have now done precisely 202 times.
Well, yesterday afternoon I sat down to begin this rote routine, and I had just finished placing Donna Markova’s wise and inspiring words on the page when I received a knock at my door. When I opened it, there were two young men who belonged to a fundamental religious group. After sharing a very brief discussion, they had a warning for me; that if I fail at staying faithful to their doctrine, there would be falling and burning. I am respectful of faith differences and have no desire to engage or incite an argument so I just quietly demurred their message and shut and locked my door.
The whole interaction felt far too personal, and even though I ushered these visitors away from my home, I was left with a trace of fear. As I moved away from that door and back to my writing, I could see how the quote I had chosen for the next day – Donna Markova’s beautiful words- were the perfect rebuttal to these uninvited visitors. But I did not want to give these unwanted visitors a rebuttal I did not want to engage with them on any level, symbolic or not. So I chose to remove the post I had just completed and replace it with another. Rather than staying on the path and allowing the Universe to flow in the way it knows best, I chose to un-schedule the post I had been inspired to write and replace it with another. I did try to salvage some portion of the ‘real time’ deal by writing about unexpected visitors, but I must own the fact that I let my will supersede the usual flow here at Rx for the Soul (read as; Universe leads, I follow.)
So, at 4am when yesterday’s intended post (about the visitors) went out to all of my email subscribers, the post I had un-scheduled also arrived safely into everyone’s inbox…. Not once… but twice; first at 4am and then again at 6am.
There was not a logical reason for this to have happened one time; the fact that the post went out twice at two different times leaves me no room for doubt. I had to laugh at my slap on the wrist- I agreed to write in real time, and I broke the deal. I wrote the words I was supposed to write, but then I took them back. So in yet another perfect rebuttal, a mysterious cyber glitch sent the words I had tried to squelch out into the world twice.