Unicorns

Always be yourself- unless you can be a unicorn- then always be a unicorn.

Thursday, after school, Ajay blew through the front door, lobbed his backpack onto the couch and sprinted toward the kitchen.  He was four days through his last week of school before Christmas break and like most 8 year olds; he was feeling pretty high on life. As he sat down at the kitchen table to have a snack he was bubbling with the happy chatter of a kid without a care in the world. Through a mouthful of gluten free Lucky Charms he was telling me that he had ABSOLUTELY NO HOMEWORK AT ALL for the next two weeks, when suddenly his conversation stopped short. Why the sudden pipe down?  Well, Mother Nature was calling, as she sometimes does.

I was totally unprepared for the scream of horror I heard emerge from the bathroom a few seconds later…. This agonized cry was then followed by a misery-laced chant of  “No! No! No! No! No!’  I was genuinely concerned.

Next thing I knew, Ajay was standing before me, finger poised in the air at me, demanding ‘Take it back, Mom…you can’t do this to me. Rylan is coming over for a sleep over tomorrow night and if he sees that thing he will tell everybody in class.’

The synapses in my brain began to fire and I suddenly knew exactly what he was talking about. A few weeks ago a friend of mine had sent me a humorous video clip about unicorn poop.  While the unicorn poop part of the video was pretty funny, the product it was advertising was something I just happened to think was brilliant, so I bought one.  The product is called a Squatty Potty- and despite its cutesy name it, ahem, is really a great little colon health item that no home should be without.  (To really appreciate both unicorn poop and what a Squatty Potty does, you will have to watch the video for yourself.)  Anyhoo- our brand spanking new Squatty Potty had been delivered earlier in the day and I had put it in its place beneath the throne Ajay had just patronized.

What I did not know was that the unicorn poop video that I laughed at is apparently wildly popular with 8 year olds- particularly the one’s Ajay hangs out with. In fact, it seems that Squatty Potties are an endless source of mirth among his classmates… Who knew?????

So, apparently Ajay’s realization that his very own family was now in possession of a Squatty Potty, was not welcome news.

Of course this made me start to giggle-, which usually makes Ajay start to giggle too, but on this day he was having none of it. My laughter seemed to only make him all the more desperate to get his point across. He put his hands on his head in mock hair pulling distress and began to pace around in circles.  He then began to speak with the fervor of a Republican Presidential Candidate, ‘ you do not EVEN understand how serious this is, Mom. No one can know we have a Squatty Potty. Do you understand? No one!! Can we put in the garage when I have friends over….pleeeeease? I’ll clean my room, I will help with dishes….’

Once my laughter subsided enough to be able to have a conversation with him, I promised that we could hide our Squatty Potty.

But I never said that I wouldn’t blog about it. I am pretty sure there are no 8-year-old Rx for the Soul readers, so I think his secret is safe with us….