Self Talk

Be mindful of your self talk- it is a conversation with the Universe. David James Lees

 If there is a ‘smoking gun’ that I come across time and time again in the confidential hallows of my psychotherapy practice – it would be the lethal weapon known as ‘Self Talk.’. For simplicity, lets just call it ST.

 We all partake in ST and I will be the first to admit it is a nasty habit. What we often fail to recognize is that ST is absolutely full of nonsense. Yes, I know the bugger is convincing as heck, and smooth as silk with the delivery- but 99.9% of the time ST is absolute unadulterated hogwash.

How do I know? Because ST spends a lot of time in therapy with me- it is usually what gets dragged out and placed front and center in the first five minutes of a session.  I have been listening to people mistake ST for their real selves for almost 25 years- and over and over again I have seen how ST unrestrained, is the most destructive force we all have in our lives.

It is amazing the things ST will tell us, and even more amazing how we start to believe it… and then of course, once we have bought in, our life begins to manifest whatever ST has been spewing. This destructive cycle begins with repetitive self talk that goes out into the Universe over and over. The Universe is benevolent, but it is also reflective. If we are continually engaged in negative Self Talk- at some point the Universe, regardless of how benevolent it is, has no choice but to deliver back to us, what we keep re-investing.

When we start believing ST life gets dangerous. Imagine your life is a vehicle, and you’re behind the wheel- barreling down the road at 90 miles an hour -while making eye contact with ST who’s sitting in the passenger seat. As soon as ST has your full attention, you lose all options for steering your life in the direction you want it to go. If you are busy listening to ST and not watching the road, I don’t need to tell you what happens next…

So what do we do with this shady character known as ST? In a perfect world, we would simply not give it our attention, but that is easier said than done. The next best thing to do, is to drag it out in front of company.  That’s right- air those toxic little ST thoughts for someone else to hear. When ST has a witness, like all other forms of deceit, it cowers pretty easily.

Most importantly, don’t be willing to sit alone with your self talk… remember it is rarely your friend even though it usually tells a pretty convincing tale. When it starts its banter, haul it out in front of someone you trust- whether it’s a bestie, a therapist, a pastor, or even a virtual chat room. Bring it into the light of day….

It’s practically guaranteed, if you bring your ST out in the presence of someone who wants your good- they will be able to see right through the transparent banter- and help remind you of who you really are.

Be mindful of your self talk- it is a conversation with the Universe. David James Lees