‘Like wildflowers you must allow yourself to grow in all the places people thought you never would.’ E.V.
Yesterday, in the FB comments beneath my blog post, I shared a flurry of interactions with my ex-husband’s love. She is someone I consider a dear friend and one I have poured my heart out to on more than one occasion.
When people see or hear us interact it always stirs intrigue, and yesterday was no different. I got a message from someone who knew our connection- inquiring about how we have managed to form a friendship in the midst of broken marriages, new loves, and blended families.
Of course there are long and short answers to that question… But I think at the end of the day, it quite plainly comes down to simple respect…something we have both always shown to one another. She had no part in the break up of my marriage and she has been a kind and faithful partner to my older children’s father, which of course helps him to be an even better person in their world. She has children of her own, yet is wonderful, kind, and inclusive to mine and I take comfort in knowing they have another mother figure in their lives to turn to at a moment of need. What’s not to like about this? I figure the more love and support they have, the better they can do in life… and that makes life sweeter for all of us.
The past has not always been so gentle. Long ago I got well acquainted with the pain and bitterness that comes from having to interact with one who offered no respect to me, and I returned the sentiment whole heartedly to her. It was a miserable time in my life.
Thankfully, the universe has a way of shaking things up and teaching us that those who don’t treat others with respect have a funny way of getting knocked off their perch. This truth has kept the branches of my (ex) family tree full of only the birds of a feather, so to speak, and we are a uniformly happy bunch. Mutual respect allows my husband Brian and I to perch peacefully on the same branch as my ex and his love, and we are all genuinely grateful to share our mixed relationship around our children. This same respect has allowed me to always be close and connected to my former mother-in-law, grandma-in-law, and aunties in-law too. In fact we all meet regularly here at Rx for the Soul and they are never shy about supporting my words. I love our connection, and I hope they each always know how much I love and respect them… and in case they don’t, it is nice to have the chance to share it outright here in the cyber world.